She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
