dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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