just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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