I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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