i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
