Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
