we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
