When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
