3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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