i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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