This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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