Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
