im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
