hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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