this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
