you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
