you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize