Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
