Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize