I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
