And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
