You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
