After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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