Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
