Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
