So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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