It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
