i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
