you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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