the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
