I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
