just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
