when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
