How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
