I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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