Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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