I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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