i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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