I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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