Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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