white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
