Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
