Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
