I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
