party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
