You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
