My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize