Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
