a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
