u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Welp...herpes.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think people are normalizing furries
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
