Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Drunk is not a location!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
