I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
