i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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