Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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