I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize