Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize