Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
