Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
