She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
