i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
