You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
